Won’t peek at the pics or take in the scoop, just jumps to the waterworks.

Spewin’ threats and vile jive at anyone in their crosshairs, real or imagined.

Spinnin’ tall tales and stirrin’ the pot with phony baloney.

Drifts with the breeze, beliefs as shifty as a sidewalk shell game.

Believes every yarn, even if it’s a tangled mess.